Just doin’ the best I can….
Sorry for the lack of updates, but we have been journeying through deepest, darkest Southeast Asia. We’re home now, for a short time and I have many tall tales, exaggerations and outright fabrications to recount, which I shall do, forthwith.
Sorry for the quietude, and lack of posting. I’m just getting over a cold, which of course meant that I had to spend most of the week ensconced in my Fortress of Germ Ridden Solitude, downstairs, watching Lifetime movies. From a rather hasty, but I’m sure totally reliable analysis I’ve done, 75% of all men in Lifetime movies are serial killers, have evil twins, are escaped convicts or are con-men. Or all of the above. The other 25% of men are basically decent guys who end up murdered by escaped con-man serial killers, or they are seduced, and then killed by the heroine’s wicked younger sister. It’s a dog-eat-dog world on Lifetime, and the men are rawhide chews.
Anyway, it’s time to catch up on some travel news, of which there’s been a lot recently. The big news of course is that the FAA has finally bowed to the dictates of science, and declared that there is no evidence that a Game Boy can bring down a 747. Even if you do happen to get the high score on Super Mario Brothers. So power up all those electronics, even while you’re taxiing out to the runway! Of course, you’re supposed to turn them off during the safety briefing, but we all know how often that’s going to happen.
Speaking of safety briefings, which I’m pretty sure is the first time I’ve ever used that particular phrase, Virgin America has developed a doozy. It is my personal belief that pretty much everything is better if they’re done in the style of a Broadway musical. Sort of like, most every food is improved if you put Béarnaise sauce on it, though now that I think about it, that’s totally different. Anyway, if you’re going to do a safety briefing then here is proof positive that doing it up musically is much, much better.
Even though this year we didn’t plan one of our patented Fall Road Trip Across the USA, we ended up taking a mini-FRTAtUSA (remember – patented!), after all. As I mentioned in my previous post we did not go on a Disney Cruise we had scheduled because the ship was not ready. Even though Mary was invited to the take the two-day trip immediately after the cruise that was cancelled, on Disney’s dime, we declined, and it appears we may have dodged a bullet. From reports we’ve heard the ship wasn’t quite ready for prime time with a lot of construction defects and ongoing work. I’m sure things will be cleared up in the near future, but for now, we’re happy we didn’t end up sailing around the Caribbean for a couple of days without air conditioning.
Left with a hole in our schedule, Mary leapt into action, while sitting at her computer (I find that if you cock your head to one side it’s easier to visualize this). Within hours after we’d learned of the cancellation she’d booked us into a resort located in a ghost town in Southwest Colorado. Because when you can’t go on a Caribbean cruise, a few nights in a restored hundred-year-old cabin, high in the Rockies, is just as awesome. I think.
I made up that term in the title all by myself, in case you were wondering. I spend my days, at least those days not devoted to watching Thirties prison movies (TCM was having a prison movie marathon, last week), to sitting around in a darkened room making up new words and terms. I hope to copyright them, wait till they’re insanely popular, like trending on Twitter or whatever those crazy kids do nowadays, and sit back and watch the money roll in. I’m not sure where the money is going to come from, but I’m confident that one day soon I’ll be rich beyond the dreams of avarice. This seems to be the modus operandi of pretty much all the Internet companies recently.
Well, enough free association and metaphysical rambling for the moment. We were scheduled to fly out to Florida (Where Convicted Murderers Roam Free, Because We’re Too busy to Check if They Have Forged Their Release Documents), but at the last moment, we were notified that our planned cruise was cancelled. It seems that someone in Disney Cruise Line hadn’t finished all their homework, such homework consisting of putting ship in dry dock, renovate ship, put ship back in service. I’m not sure what excuse is usually proffered in circumstances like this because trying the dog ate the plans, or my grandparent, the favorite one who always had candy in their pockets, died suddenly of diabetes, doesn’t seem to cut the mustard.
Well, the leaves are turning, snow is falling, and the heat is starting to come on in the middle of the day. That must mean it’s time to start our annual perambulations around the world before the snow gets too deep to get out of the house.
First off this year is Florida, but since it’s business, it’s only going to be 87% enjoyable. Maybe 88%, but that will depend on how many stone crab claws I can get my hands on. Ostensibly, we’re going to Florida to check out the newly refitted Disney Magic. For five days Mary will assiduously investigate the staterooms, restaurants, entertainment, public areas, shopping, embarkation, debarkation, port stops, and overall service. Meanwhile I’ll be conducting an in-depth inspection of the new Irish pub on board. I think the division of labor is a little unfair, but it’s not in my nature to whine about it, much, so I’ve resolved to bravely soldier on, helped immeasurably by the consumption of a large number of pints of Guinness.
I am convinced that I have, possibly, discovered one of the fabled, potentially mythical, Secrets of a Good Marriage. I am lead to understand there are many of these Secrets, so anyone who tells you they have found THE secret, singular, is to be pitied, and, if you’re so inclined, mocked.
The secret in my particular case, and this may not apply for everyone, though I scarcely understand why it should not, is waffles.
Woohoo!
It has come to my attention that football season is yet again upon us. Well, it was upon us weeks ago, but only this last weekend did I have the time, a modicum of interest and some easily postponed chores. I noticed that the ol’ alma mater was playing against another Big Ten team, so I decided to grab a couple of brewskies and watch me some football.
Approximately 22 minutes and 17 seconds later, the first beer was done, and so was my football watching. So booored! Was football always this dull and slow? There was a time when I did watch football with a bit of frequency, but it seems I’ve lost the ability or desire to consume enough alcoholic beverages to make the game interesting.
At least it does over ten thousand feet. We so far have only had stealth snow. This is snow that falls late at night and melts before morning so we don’t actually see it, but we know it’s there. Lurking in the shadows.
TV Dinners. Ah, such a nostalgic moniker. Just like the term moniker itself, a word nobody under the age of ninety uses, unless it’s in an ironic manner. Since I’m not ninety, not even close, really, let’s just assume that I used it ironically, kay?
In the run up to the Chicken Pie-alooza, I did a bunch of research about TV dinners. Partly because the Internet is a vast warehouse of knowledge and information, but primarily because if I wasn’t doing research, I had clothes to fold and recycling to sort. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Of course, it might be some sort of poisonous weed instead of fall foliage.
Fall has arrived! This is the first bit of foliage I’ve seen that’s started turning. And there’s already snow on top of Pikes Peak! This should be an interesting autumn, as we’re concluding the wettest summer we’ve seen since we moved here. The effects on the foliage should be fascinating. What foliage that hasn’t been washed into the creeks and rivers that is.
