Marriage Secrets

waffleI am convinced that I have, possibly, discovered one of the fabled, potentially mythical, Secrets of a Good Marriage. I am lead to understand there are many of these Secrets, so anyone who tells you they have found THE secret, singular, is to be pitied, and, if you’re so inclined, mocked.

The secret in my particular case, and this may not apply for everyone, though I scarcely understand why it should not, is waffles.

Yes, that’s it, waffles.

On Sunday mornings, sometimes Saturday, though let’s be honest, on Saturdays you’re going to have to do some chores around the house, if only because you put them off all week, so you’re going to earn a few brownie points anyway. Sunday’s though, are a day of rest, and here I should point out, this does not mean it applies exclusively to you, guys. For an hour, maybe a little more, it also applies to your significant other.

I find that the best way to open the Sabbath, is to hustle down to the kitchen, pronto, and then hustle back up the stairs to the bedroom, also pronto, to ask where the eggs are kept. Dashing back to the kitchen, I’ll start the bacon cooking, while I mix together the ingredients for the waffles, stopping only to trot back upstairs to find out where the waffle mix is hiding, right there on the third shelf of the pantry, center right.

Along about the time that the bacon is almost ready, not quite burned to a crisp, but pretty close, you should have the batter prepared and the waffle maker preheated. Forgot to the waffle maker, huh? A panicky dash upstairs is averted when you meet your wife coming down to find out what all the crashing and banging is about. She’ll pull the waffle maker out of its hiding place in the cabinet over the oven, and show you where to plug it in.

An hour or three later, replete with a heaping portion of waffles, all will be right with the world, and you’ll be sitting pretty. Until later in the afternoon, when you spill a whole plate of nachos on the couch, after you jump up to celebrate the Broncos scoring the game winning touchdown. Enjoy those all-to-brief minutes while you can.

For the best point-scoring and life-affirming waffles, I recommend Carbon’s Malted Waffle Mix. Even after you burn the bacon, you’ll still be congratulated on the fine tasting waffles.

Carbon Waffles

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