Mary returned from a recent trip to Los Angeles where she engaged in the clubbing of baby seals, or whatever it is that she and other alumnae at her former women’s college do when they get together. Really, I don’t know what they get up to there and it’s probably safer not knowing. There were some pointed hints about ‘taking me out’ or ‘taking me to dinner,’ if I revealed any of the secrets about the Steel Gardenia Circle, and their no-doubt bizarre rites.
As I was saying, Mary was on her way home, and observed that her particular flight seemed to be filled with a significant number of dads and young kids. From all appearances it was the annual migration of the ex-husbands come to LA to pick up the kids for summer visitation. If it’s not then, I’m still going to go with it as it fits my meme.
So on this trip Mary, was seated in front of one ex-husband/summer vacation child support payment, and overheard the following conversation. Ears like an eagle, that one.
Kid, “Oh, Dad, Dad, Mr. Mumson, Mom’s new boyfriend, he’s got a Porsche and a really big sailboat!”
Ex-Husband, long silence.
Ex-Husband, “Err, have you seen them?”
Kid, oblivious, of course, “I’ve seen the Porsche, but not the boat. Mom’s been on the boat, and she told me about it.”
Ex-husband, “ahh….”. Some quiet thumping noises that sounded suspiciously like a forehead hitting the seatback, repeatedly.
See, this is why I never had kids.