Or philosophy with beer, what do you think? Mary says I have a little too much of a fondness, nay an obsession, with beer. And why not? Is it not the miracle of our times that a smooth, crisp, tawny beverage can make us exceedingly happy and convivial, the life of the party? Followed by sweet, sweet oblivion. And then, the next morning, the thunder of a thousand horses pounding over the steppe, pulsating in one’s soggy noggin?
Anyway, Mary’s observations about the most important beverage in the world aside, I did get to thinking about a philosophy of life based around beer. So I started looking into philosophy and then that just got all too confusing. Instead, I began modifying famous quotations and teachings from philosophy and added beer. Because everything you add to beer is better, ya?
Some examples:
René Descartes
I think, therefore I am.
Becomes:
I drink beer, therefore I am happy.
Aristotle
Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.
Becomes:
Since beer makes one happy, and happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, consequently the aim and end of human existence is beer.
Plato
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Becomes:
Wise men drink beer because it’s great on hot summer days; Fools don’t have any beer, so it’s immaterial what they have to say.
Voltaire
If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent him.
Becomes:
If there were no beer, it would suggest there was no God.
Bertrand Russell
There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths.
Becomes:
Who needs comfortable myths? Drink beer and face the perils of life with equanimity.
Henry David Thoreau
Our life is frittered away by detail…Simplify, simplify.
Becomes:
Simply drink beer, don’t sweat the details.
I could go on all day, but it would require that 1) I continue to look up philosophical quotations which would divert me from 2) some frosty beers in the fridge, therefore – later!