Pies, Wonderful Pies

Who doesn’t like pie? Oh, I’m sure there’s a few people out there who don’t have a song in their heart and a warm ray of sunshine illuminating their sour, scrunched up, bitter faces. You know, the type of people that actually like cake or pudding, more than a warm slice of pie. People with warped value systems that think a crème brulee is a better choice than a piece of Dutch Apple pie with a slice of crumbly cheddar cheese on top. Nom nom nom.

Well, although I heartily approve of American pies, which include such culinary triumphs as blueberry pie, apple pie and cherry pie, what I truly long for is a really well made mince pie. Yes, I said it – in front of one and all. Mince pie! Mince pie forever! Let the banners wave and the orchestra break into a triumphant overture, because for me, in the pantheon of pies, one pie sits atop of all others, and it’s mincemeat! Mincemeat pie rules!

I know many Americans are not huge fans of mincemeat pies, and usually at holiday gatherings, which is the only time you’ll find one on a table in America, I am the lone mincemeat enthusiast. Yes, I’ll be the one who’ll have a slice of that rather bland, defrosted and warmed over pie from the grocery freezer section, just so that the hosts are not left with a whole uneaten pie. Because whole uneaten pies sitting forlornly on the table at the end of the night are so sad, and it’s the holiday season and who wants to see a sad, sad pie? So purely in the interest of being the very best guest I can be, I’ll have that pie.

Now though I’ve found a group, in England naturally, that share my love for that noble example of the holiday pie art. They like the mince pie so much that they have created a site to examine, sample and proclaim which version of the commercially sold mince pies in the UK are fit for a king, or a queen, and or even the average bloke who just wants the best piece of Christmas goodness in pastry form that one can get. You see, in the UK mince pies are as central to the Christmas tradition as say, It’s A Wonderful Life is to the American experience, just more filling, though on the question of which one is more likely to give you a case of indigestion, it’s pretty much a wash.

In any case, here is the site where they test each year’s offerings and proclaim which is the best possible candidate for the holiday season. I suppose you can invite your family and loved ones to visit the site also, but remember, the more people celebrating, the more people with which you have to split your mince pies.


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