If there were ever a holiday just made for me, it would have to be Oktoberfest. Beer, in huge mugs! Giant pretzels! Immense sausages! Girls in dirndls! More beer in even huger mugs! Polka music! It’s got everything that makes life worth living.

You’d think that I’d be there in Munich, come September (yeah, I can never get past the fact that Oktoberfest is in September either), quaffing many, many cold German lagers. But so far, the closest I’ve been was an ’Oktoberfest’ festival in the outer reaches of San Diego County, which, I’m sorry, and all credit to the people running it, was in a place where it’s normally like ninety plus degrees in September and it’s insanely sunny, and the girls weren’t even wearing dirndls. Plus the beer was American and not even micro-brew, so it was having a hard time even getting to passable.

Every pre-autumn my thoughts turn to Oktoberfest, which admittedly is a little late to make any plans. First off, I’m going to need a good six or seven months of non-stop hint dropping and whining to get Mary convinced that we should give the German Oktoberfest a go. Second, I need to get the convincing part done in time to get some reservations for a hotel, not to mention the beer tents. That means I’m probably a little late on the planning front for this year, since Oktoberfest opens on September 17th.

So, this year, like in years past, I’ll be having a very private Oktoberfest celebration, here at home. I’ll stock up on some German beer, get some bratwurst for the grill and start crank up the stereo with selections from my CD of ‘100 Polka Classics – The Greatest Accordion Collection on Earth’. I’ve broached the subject of Mary wearing a dirndl and maybe some braids in her hair, but sadly she is not down with celebrating the holiday in maximum awesome fashion. Which is fair since I refused to wear a frock coat and drink tea on Jane Austin’s birthday. So I’ll have to rock with a pair of these.


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