We were well ensconced in bed one night recently, with the television quietly burbling over in the corner, while we devoted our actual attention to our iPads. I was distracted from a fascinating article about particle physics, found within the pages of Atomic Robo, by a commericial airing on said idiot box. It was apparently an ad by a national ambulance chasing firm seeking plaintiffs for some sort of suit.
Me, “Hey, what in the name of all that is holy is a pelvic mesh?”
Mary looked up and said, “It seems to be something related to a bladder sling.”
“What’s a bladder sling? Wait, does that mean your bladder can become dislodged inside your body so you need a sling to hold it in place?”
Mary, “Presumably, though that is a disturbing thought.”
Me, “Disturbing?!? It’s downright horrifying! Now I’m going to have nightmares all night!”
Mary, “You could just google it, I’m sure it’s nothing, or at most a really rare condition.”
Me, “Oh, hell no. I’m not going to look that up! That’s just begging for trouble. You read about what a pelvic mesh is and next week you’re down at the doctor’s telling him that you seem to have all the symptoms of whatever condition it is that causes you to have to get a bladder sling. I like my bladder just where it is, thank you very much!”
Mary, “Suit yourself, but if you start thrashing around again tonight in your sleep, I’m going to wake you up and make you sleep in the guest bed.”
For the record, the guest bed is actually, not uncomfortable. After I finally got back to sleep around 7:00 am, I slept like a baby.