Welcome to the United States of America

So we’re back home, at last, in the grand old US of A, Land of the Free and Super-Colossal-Sized Sugary Beverages!

After so long abroad, I thought I’d record our first observations. The sun is really bright, I mean, like eye-dazzlingly, intensely bright. And the sky is so blue. So very, very blue. And yet we haven’t had a chance to take advantage of the new pot legalization initiative here in Colorado, so the sky is no more blue than it usually is here. I think the major difference is that we can actually see the blue skies and not the obscuring clouds. And we have stars!!

We discovered that when it comes to US Customs, it probably is a good idea not to travel with canned goose fat. They seem really concerned about it, and why not – it makes roast potatoes awesome, raising them to weapons grade levels of awesomeness, so you probably should be wary of it. After a group meeting of pretty much all the Customs agents in Denver it was determined that goose fat probably wasn’t a threat to national security. Unpasteurized stinky cheese though, is right out.

We celebrated our arrival back home with a visit to Costco and a burrito. Well, a burrito bowl anyway, which is almost the same thing, though without the calories from the tortilla. Cause that’s how sensible eaters roll. Costco was as always, awesome, even approaching weapons grade awesome, itself. You know, if you could buy canned goose fat from Costco, the awesomeness would be so great that I would expect that it would cause a total inversion of the time-space continuum, and that would be bad, because we might end up in a parallel universe where there were no geese or potatoes. On the other hand it might be an alternative timeline where there were also no clowns, so it could all balance out.

I asked Mary about the things she noticed that were the biggest changes, and she pointed out how big everything is, approaching immense even. You could fit four or five flats of the size of the one we rented in London into our house. Our three acre lot could accommodate several pubs, five or six sandwich shops, high rise buildings for thousands of office drones, and a half dozen or more retail outlets selling wine, clothing and greeting cards.

So it’ll take a little getting used to but I’m sure we’ll persevere. The 64 ounce Super Big Gulps will help. As will the El Grande Deluxe Tex-Mex BBQ Chicken Salad and side of Extra-Zesty Ranch Flavored Tortilla Chips.




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