Somewhere in the past couple of months, while traveling, I, at some point, came across a can of Coke. I know this because I have a note about it, but I haven’t a clue where this event occurred. Granted, it is slightly unusual for us to be found with a can of Coke Cola, as unlike our fellow Americans, our intake of carbonated beverages is somewhat less than the average US consumption figure that can be best expressed with the metric of hundreds of Big Gulps per annum. If I had to guess, I encountered the aforementioned can of Coke while I was either in a plane or on a ship, for reasons that will become very quickly apparent.
Sure, you might point out that encountering a can of Coke isn’t that big a deal in today’s world and normally you’d be right. But in this particular case, (heh, case…. oh, come on, yes, it’s sophomoric but that’s the kind of thing you’re going to have to expect if you read this blog), as I was saying, I was given a can of Coke that had a label printed on it which specified that the beverage was for “on-board airline and maritime consumption only”.
Now, I’m a reasonably intelligent guy, went to college, majored in engineering, took a bunch of physics and chemistry classes, escaped with a solid set of C’s and D’s, and yet I have no idea why a specific type of Coke Cola is produced for maritime and airline use. Is there some sort of restriction on the amount of high fructose corn syrup for sodas offered on planes and ships because there’s a worry about the effects of HFCS rush on passengers stuck in combined spaces for extended periods of time?
And what are the legal ramifications of removing and consuming a can of this variety of Coke in a non-maritime or non-airborne environment? Is one liable for arrest, and who would be the agency that keeps track of scofflaws who dare to drink maritime Coke while standing on the dock of the bay? The mind boggles. Then wobbles.
Even Google, my old, dear friend and confidant, could not illuminate these questions for me. So for now, I will just have to share this mysterious, and perhaps forbidden knowledge, with the three people who accidentally stumbled on this blog.