Travails With Travel (Accompanied by Minor)

Paging through Budget Travel magazine this month, or it could be last month, or maybe even two months ago, as I tend to let magazines pile up a bit, unless we’re travelling. If we’re due to go on the road, I slap a couple of mags into the carry-on so I have something to do when the flight attendant announces that all electronic devices have to be turned off. I guess I could do a little zen meditation, or center myself through yoga techniques for the five to ten minutes I have to be separated from my iPad. But, I figure if we were to crash on take-off or landing, I don’t want to be at peace with the world. I want to go out kicking and screaming (especially screaming) every inch of the way.

Anyway, Budget Travel has a column where people can tell others about their helpful travel tips, which actually tell me more about the people who write in than I ever wanted to know. Really, you carry personal wipes with you and clean the toilet seat, and the faucet handles, and the toilet handle, and the toilet door handle before you do your business? Or you strip the bed in the hotel and put on the sheets that you brought from home? Really?

This month’s column had a woman, a saintly person of some resemblance to Saint Trypbaena, metaphorically speaking of course, who was tortured and gored by a bull. The saint being the bull target I mean, the writer is not, as far as I know a martyr.  I think there ought to be a statue, or at least a plaque somewhere installed to honor her memory. Talk about one of the most thoughtful people who ever lived (now back writing about the original woman, and I’ll stay with her from this point out). She wrote that before travelling with her baby, or young infant, and at what point do they graduate from baby to young infant, or is it a sliding scale? Anyway, she printed out a bunch of stickers with a message something like “I’m sorry if I’m a little fussy. This is my first flight. My parents are doing the best they can and appreciate your patience.” She put the stickers on candy bars and handed them out to her seatmates and nearby passengers. What a wonderful, thoughtful person! Why can’t I be on the same plane with this woman, rather than the usual folks I run into on our travels.

Well, I could recount tales of woe and terror and mayhem and messy hygienic disasters, but let’s not and say we did. I’d rather celebrate a considerate, splendid woman who should be a role model to us all.

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