August 2009 Archives
Now, I like
to think I like my meat, somewhat more than many people, perhaps more than I
should. Certainly more than is healthy if I didn't have a wonderful, adoring
wife who thinks a 20 ounce Porterhouse is enough to feed a family gathering of
twelve and not, as I may have contended in the past, the perfect size for an
appetizer. So when KFC announced their latest brain storm, some might have
assumed that I'd be leading the parade in celebration and downing a few of
these monstrosities on the side.
They would
be wrong.
In the
latest report on passenger foibles in the sky we have Exhibit A for why flying
is a bad time to go off your meds or poor timing for a bender.
On a recent
Southwest (Clothing Is Not Optional!) flight a passenger, three hundred pounds
of burly man meat decided to expose himself to his female seat mate. She
screamed, entirely understandably and he replied by punching her, not quite so
understandably unless of course one assumes that this is the result of one too
many cocktails in the lounge before boarding. Or again, going off the meds.
At this
point our candidate for Southwest Passenger of the Month decided to go all the
way and disrobe completely which he then proceeded to reveal to the rest of the
airplane by running, or rather more probably, lumbering up and down the aisle. And
then he lay down in the aisle, undoubtedly exhausted by all the exertion. Several
passengers were eventually able to wrestle the man back into a seat where he
was covered by a convenient plastic sheet. Which raises the question as to
whether or not Sheets, Plastic, Naked Passengers Coverage, For Use Of, are
standard equipment on Southwest flights?
At this
point I think it behooves us to honor the brave and not too squeamish
passengers who wrestled the man mountain into submission. Sure some people may
have to face down a terrorist with a bomb or a gun, but wrestling with three
hundred pounds of naked, sweaty perv is really above and beyond. Hats off!
Sorry, long
time gone. Back now. No excuses. Funny meter was depleted and needed some
recharging. Well, that's kind of an excuse but a remarkably poor one. I'll do
better next time.
So I
thought I'd start off with the recent post via Gridskipper and Transracial,
which really isn't what I first read it as - Transsexual, not that there's
anything wrong with that or anything, it's just you know, I don't spend all my
time trolling sites like that, if indeed there are sites like that, which of course
I'm sure there must be cause there's something for everyone on the World Wide
Web and have you noticed that no one actually uses that term anymore, World
Wide Web, instead it's all Internet this or the Net that, or my favorite - the
Intratubes, and obviously I'm just in ramble mode and am avoiding something which
is...oh, right, BEER!
So anyway,
there's a micro trend where the wily Czechs are combining beer and spas. Why? I
don't know, but it's got beer in it so it has to be good. Except, there's one
little detail that does bother me somewhat. They have beer baths. Now one would
think I'd be all in favor of beer baths, because well, it's beer, right? But
it's like Czech beer, which is like the best Pilsner in the world and it really
seems wrong to bathe in it instead of drinking it, preferably in an ice cold
Pilsner glass served to you by a pretty young Czech lass with one of those low
cut peasant blouse like they wear in every third rate vampire movie, well those
movies that don't have emo vampires that don't bite people and can come out in
daylight cause it's cloudy and what's with that stuff, anyway?
I mean if
it were Budweiser or something that's nigh undrinkable to start with I wouldn't
have so much trouble wrapping my head around the concept, but it's Pilsner! The
horror! The sacrilege! The waste!
Still I
like the idea of a
