SeaWorld
On the last trip to Orlando Mary and I decided to check out SeaWorld since A) we'd never been to the Florida outpost of this venerable (for the theme park world) institution and B) we were going to the park anyhow for the Luau Spectacular article and C) because I had heard a rumor that there was free beer to be had.
First, and to get this out of the way, the rumors were true and there was free beer. I drank it and then the newest owners of the park closed the free beer dispensaries. So, if you want, you can believe that I was personally responsible for closing down the Floridian Fountain of Sudsy Goodness due to excessive consumption that may have resulted in a loud and mostly out of tune rendition of "I Feel Pretty" from the musical, West Side Story, until I was felled by overzealously wielded Tazers. Or you can believe the truth that the free beer was cut off because the new owner of the park, InBev, is staffed with evil foreigner type communist people who are also and, even more scarily, Belgian. Nothing good can come from the purchase of Budweiser by the Belgians and the closure of the free beer pavilion is a sign of this. Unless they start instituting the use of Belgian brewing traditions in the making of Budwesier and thus infuse it with a soupcon of flavor, something it's been missing for a good half century or more. In which case - all hail our Belgian beer overlords!
Back to the park. As I mentioned we'd never been to SeaWorld in Orlando though we'd been the to West Coast outpost any number of times, because of visiting family and such. Overall I don't think the two parks are all that different though Orlando does seem to have acquired a few more rides and there was, for all too short a time, the free beer that I may have mentioned, off handedly.
I like the landscaping in particular and found it pleasant and serene. Of course, we were there in October, and even for that time of year the weather was mild. Tooling around the park in August at three in the afternoon might not be as pleasing, though the extensive availability of shade helps somewhat. The park incorporates water more than any other theme park, though this is probably not unexpected, especially with the Orlando park, as it's a good couple of hundred miles from anything that could be construed as a sea.
The primary focus of the park, as opposed to all the other theme parks in the Orlando area, is not really rides but shows. There is, of course, the headlining Shamu show with the killer whales. It is impressive as always and if you want to get wet you can always sit down in front and let the leviathan splash water all over you. Well, the kids will love it. The current show is much more high tech and flashily produced then I remember, with large flat screens like the ones at stadiums, showing video that integrates with the live action as well as loud music. I guess many people will like it though I'm something of a traditionalist and the new higher energy production seems a little overdone to me.
Besides the killer whales there are many more shows and exhibits of aquatic fauna, such as dolphins, sharks, stingrays, seals, manatees, and on and on. No kraken though. I think they need some kraken. Some of the more pedestrian and non-kraken type animals are integrated into shows where the animals perform, like one with pirates, seals and sea otters which kids (and I) love, as well as a show with lots of trained dogs and cats doing trained dog and cat things. Cute. All in all, if you try and check out all of the shows as well as all of the exhibits you can spend a pretty full day without feeling like you're missing out because there's only one coaster ride.
The rides are, as mentioned, not the reason to go to SeaWorld. I mean, they have some, but at the end of the day you're not going to feel like your small and large intestines have switched places. There are a few thrill rides available and I guess if your children are just not that into the denizens of the deep they can spend all of their time riding the same attractions over and over again.
Dining at the park is pretty similar to dining at any other theme park. You have your restaurants serving pizzas, your burgers, hot dogs, stir fry, the buffet with over thirty types of herring. OK, I made the last one up, but wouldn't it be cool if they had something like that? We snacked a little here and there, skipping anything substantial as we had planned on a sumptuous feast at the evening luau. But we can safely say that there wasn't really anything that might be considered out of the ordinary or unusual. That probably would be reassuring for some people.
One thing that we did check out that I liked, even though it dispensed Budweiser products, was a pavilion that allowed one to partake of the wonderful frosty brew without the exchange of cash. I might have mentioned this before. One is hard pressed to think of anything more wonderful than that. Well, unless it was a pavilion that dispensed free Heineken, but then while we're at it why don't we wish for world peace or for Led Zeppelin to get back together and release a new album? Well, that last would be creepy as John Bonham is dead but still..... cool.
And that concludes our tour of the magnificent excitement that is SeaWorld Orlando. Because now that there is no longer a free beer dispensary there is really no reason to go to the park. Want to see killer whales? We recommend you rent Free Willy. Sea lions and penguins? Get a book. All right, seriously, the park is worth checking it out if you've pretty much exhausted all the possibilities that Walt Disney World has to offer. And you've ridden every coaster that Universal has to offer. Then and only then can you go ahead and check out the dolphins. Or unless you, God forbid, to sneak in a little learning in there on your kids. SeaWorld is a little more educational then the other theme parks so it does have at least some redeeming features even though they've removed the free beer.
