Things That Kind of Creep Me Out
New on the list of 'Things That Creep Me Out' is an ad I came across in the latest edition of Departures magazine (Obscenely Expensive Stuff That You Didn't Even Know You Needed Until We Told You), a periodical that we get free because we have some sort of credit card that is made of a rare element like tantalum or rhodium. Otherwise I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be subscribing to it, since we are somewhat averse to spending the average annual income of a typical village in many Sub-Saharan countries on a set of cuff links. And that's the main thrust of the magazine: lots of stuff you only need if the stacks of money in your bank account are getting so large that they may spontaneously combust.
Still, there is a reason to read the magazine, as it often includes articles that leave me laughing out loud. Such as the one in which a woman recommended settling for a three quarter length sable coat because there was a recession on and all. Or the review of a $34 million yacht that touts the eco-efficiency of the seaborne palace . You know, a yacht with quarters for a staff of 12? I especially like the use of the phrase 'simplified complexity' to describe the design of the yacht, as it covers all the bases. Really, having said that, is there anything else left to say?
Along with the articles there are a few ads scattered here and there throughout the magazine. Say around, and this is conservative, something like 300 ads in a 350 page magazine. One advertisement that caught my eye really kind of creeped me out. Like, the kind of feeling you get when you walk around a corner and encounter a drooling, brain eating zombie, which really doesn't happen nearly as often as the movies make out..
It seems that something like half the ads in the magazine are for watches. There was an ad for a new timepiece (timepieces are a fancier way of saying watches, thus justifying much higher prices, or so I understand) made from parts of the Titanic. I can't express my dislike for this idea with an intensity that would do it justice. What's next? How about a watch made of the debris from the Challenger. Or for that hard to reach NASCAR demographic, how about a watch made from pieces of the car that Dale Earnhardt crashed and died in? Ooh, ooh, I know - a 9/11 memorial watch made from steel from the downed towers! You too, can own a piece of history!
I attempted to find out how much the watch would go for, but it looks like if you have to ask you can't afford it. I'd try and guess, but on this type of subject I am completely lacking in any relevant knowledge. Every time I come across a price for one of these very high end timepieces, I kind of blank out in shock and can never remember later if $40,000 for a watch was a fantasy or a reality.
