Hotels That Are Not Mike Friendly
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the new Ivy Hotel in San Diego is not an inn that is seeking me as a customer. I'm pretty sure I'm not cool enough. No, strike that, I am absolutely positive I am not chilly enough for the Ivy. I was reminded of this fact after coming across a reference to the Ivy on Hotel Chatter. During our trip to San Diego last year the hotel was still under construction, but there was a lot of buzz about it even then. I was intrigued a bit as high-end buzz
So now the Ivy is open. The hotel is styled as a luxury urban retreat or an 'adult playground' depending on the PR shillery to which you are currently exposed. I'm guessing this is the upscale answer to the W Hotels and aimed at the burgeoning ranks of the young, excessively compensated, urban sophisticates that apparently were increasing like small furry vermin, at least until the economy cratered. Where they'll be getting clients now is anyone's guess.
On the Ivy's website there can be found pictures of the standard guestrooms and the suites - the Star Suite, in particular. First, a brief comment on the guest rooms. I don't find the layout too extreme, except for one particular element. The bathroom. Look, I'm not a Victorian, but I am not really much of a 'let it all hang out' type of guy, either. So if you're like me, and not an exhibitionist, then you're not going to like it here. Who really likes to roll over in the morning and have a wide angle view of their significant other or one time playmate doing their morning ablutions out in the open? What is with this trend of letting things that should be done behind closed and bolted doors, preferably with the lights off, instead be exposed in the bright morning light for all the world to see? I think I'd seriously have to consider some therapy after using the facilities in the Ivy's standard guest rooms.
Moving on to the aforementioned Star Suite, I must confess to a bit of confusion, as the most prominent feature of the suite is not something I expect to see in San Diego. Vegas, maybe, but not San Diego. As the accompanying photo illustrates, there is a, for lack of a better term, stripper pole in the middle of the bedroom. Why is this needed? Is the management of the Ivy saying in effect, hey, have your bachelor party here! Or cruise over to (insert wherever the hookers hang out in San Diego nowadays) and pick up a companion for the night, because we're just the place to bring her? What kind of message is this giving our kids? What kind of message is this sending me?
And what's with the shag covered bunk beds? I mean really, I am utterly without a clue here. Not even a clue to a hint of a clue. I've run through any number of different scenarios for why one would want a high end suite with King size bunk beds and all I come up with is possibly a fantasy revisiting the movie "Big". And I'm pretty sure there was no stripper pole in Tom Hanks' room in that movie. Though there was a trampoline, so maybe this is a more up to date version? guess everyone knows that stripper poles are so much cooler than trampolines today.
One thing I think you can depend on is that if you're looking for a hotel that will be quiet and soothing for the weekend
, or somewhere that you can get work done on a weeknight (unless of course your business is filming such fare as "Girls Gone Wild, Volume 74") then the Ivy is not going to fit the bill. I believe that I'll look elsewhere. I suspect the management will probably not exactly not be heartbroken, but that I can deal with.
